We look only at what we like
Hearing Annick de Souzennelle say this sentence during an interview, I was overwhelmed.
It evokes so many things.
On the one hand, the love I feel when I look at the people I love. In this case even what might seem like a flaw is not.
Conversely, the difficulty of looking at those I do not like and perceiving all that is beautiful about them.
I realize that in fact it is not the people I do not like but the sensations, the emotions that I feel when I look at them that are unpleasant to me.
By looking away, I avoid facing them, feeling them, observing the thoughts or even the judgments related to them. What do I really judge and who?
Not looking at my emotions and thoughts does not make them disappear.
They remain lurking in the shadows, repressed.
Sooner or later, they will emerge again.
A situation, a person will trigger them.
Followed by its share of reactions: rejection, discomfort, tension, feeling of not knowing how to manage the situation.
Communication tools can help.
But they are not enough until I make the turnaround.
Turning around means, looking at my emotions and naming them.
It implies, saying: yes I feel jealousy, bitterness, despair, discouragement, anger, fear, to name just a few emotions that we do not find beautiful.
Feelings we don't know what to do with.
If we have not learned to welcome them and name them.
This is what Jung meant by "looking at his shadows."
Once looked at, they are no longer shadows and they will give us their information.
Once I become aware of them, they will stop biasing my interpretations and guiding my reactions.
They will show me their bright side.
Taking a look at what I do not like, do not accept, transforms it into something that I do not know yet or rather that I have hidden or forgotten.
It is the look I put on it that will give me back the memory of this part of me that I had covered with a veil.
This part that manifested itself in my relationships with others, to be unveiled and unleash its full potential.