Going over the past prevents moving forward. What happened doesn't change because you think about it or have regrets or are sad. To hope, to wait for someone to recognize the impact of their behavior, or to ask for your forgiveness is leaving your personal power in their hands. One can wait a long time and during this time life passes.
We do not move forward with our eyes in the rearview mirror. It is by looking ahead and changing our beliefs, behaviors and coping mechanisms that we create another reality. it is by finding what brings us joy that we create a happier life.
it is by finding inner peace that we build outer peace.
External reality is a reflection of internal reality.
You may have noticed that when you are joyful you tend to meet joyful people and you react in a more positive way to what happens.
And if you are angry, "by chance" in the subway you come across angry people.
It's not accident.
We attract situations and people who match our vibratory field. This field changes according to our thoughts and emotions. We also feel it in our body because the emotions manifest physically. When we are angry, we feel tensed. When we are happy, we feel relaxed and light. It is not about ignoring so-called negative emotions or suppressing them. They are indicators of our way of thinking and behaving.
Negative thoughts generate negative emotions.
Therefore, we can be caught in a negative reinforcing loop and not knowing how to get out of it if we are not aware of how unwittingly we contribute to the process.
We have collectively adhered to hypotheses mentioned by Darwin (19th century). One of them was the only conflict and competition allow survival.
This has created a society where competition and conflict are seen as "normal" with the particular consequence of finding "normal" for states to go to war and for conflict to become part of everyday life.
We adhere to this belief so strongly that trainings in conflict management have been delivered across the world in many organizations and companies, making this belief even more valid.
So far, there is little training that teaches how to create harmony and peace, as the belief is so ingrained that trainings providing tools to create peace and harmony wacky ideas.
Beside that, most of us yearn for peace and harmony, but don't always know how to get there or think that when it happens it is due to luck. Not at all, their manifestations are created by our inner state, thoughts and behaviors.
How to move from conflict to harmony?
By becoming aware of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
By looking at them without judgment or guilt because they are only the fruits of our conditioning.
As long as we dont' look at them, they remain hidden in the shadow and continue to create the same thoughts and behaviors.
When they surface to consciousness they lose the power to model our actions. Therefore, we regain our ability to make other choices and create another reality.
We can only change what is brought to light.